No More Fools and Madmen
by brown phantom
Summary: Tomobiki, "a place of fools and madmen." A town where aliens, spirits, and crazy people are everywhere. Doesn't that seem just a little too odd to be real? Inspired by MZephyr's "Waking Up".
1. The Problem

_I don't own Urusei Yatsura, but you already know that. If there are plot holes, and there most likely are, don't bother pointing them out. There will definitely be some OOCness. For this fic both are a very hard thing to avoid, so try not to worry about it and just enjoy._

On a dark night in one particularly eventful district of Toukyou, Japan, some suspicious activity was going on by the town water treatment facility. At first glance it looked like a young girl in her mid-teens was riding a horse towards the building, followed by something that couldn't clearly be seen in the dark. When she got into the light provided by a nearby streetlight, one could see that the horse the girl was riding was fake with two people working as the legs while a third person followed clanking coconut shells to provide trotting sounds. Judging from the outfits, the three men were kurokos working for the girl.

The sound effect kuroko stopped what he was doing and walked up to the closed gate to the water plant premises. After pulling out some sort of skeleton key, he unlocked the gate and opened it so the girl could ride right into the restricted area, but got back into his previous rear position first to begin making hoof-step sounds again.

"Freeze!" A man's voice suddenly shouted as several bright lights flashed from the right side of the girl and her crew. Blinded and surprised, they inadvertently obeyed the command. When they regained their vision, they saw several police officers pointing guns at them from behind a police car that had been hidden from view until now. "Step down and put your hands above you head."

The girl gave an annoyed look, as if experiencing nothing but a minor inconvenience. "Do you know who I am?"

"You're a trespasser and we have reason to believe you have illegal and harmful intent. Now get down and place your hands above your head." One cop replied.

The girl did nothing, as if the order was simply an option. And her expression was smug, like she felt they couldn't do anything to do to her. Like they were all bark and no bite, even if she continued what she originally came here to do. Feeling untouchable, like she often did, she turned away and motioned for her kuroko to continue on their task. Like drones, they obeyed without a thought. Until the sound of a few shots were heard, and the four of them fell unconscious.

"Don't you think that might have been uncalled for?" One man asked the one who fired the tranquilizers.

"She obviously wasn't going to come willingly with us, and it looked like she was going to pretend we weren't here. Our orders were to stop her." They retaliated.

"Do you think she's the culprit?" A third officer asked.

"She's the only one who's come here after hours all week, and she used illegal means to enter. She's definitely worth taking into custody." The first cop answered.

"Should we call her parents? She is a minor after all." A fourth officer asked them.

"No. If she's doing what we think she's doing, then it's best not to get anyone else involved for now. So let's take her back." The second cop told them. They quickly gathered up the unconscious bodies of the young girl and the three kurokos and took them to a police station two districts away. They had a hard time bringing the fake horse body with them, but since it was evidence they couldn't simply leave it behind.

In police headquarters two districts away, the girl and kurokos were contained in separate rooms, sitting at tables awaiting someone to interrogate them, all while being watched behind two-way mirrors.

"So what do we know about her?" A high-ranking officer named Kawakotsu asked a man named Akitsuna, while keeping an eye on the girl.

Akitsuna presented a file filled with identifications. "The girl has been identified as one Mendou Ryouko, youngest child of the Mendou family. Do you know of them?"

Kawakotsu nodded without tearing his gaze from the teenager. "Yeah. One of the wealthiest land and business owners in the country with strong connections. Hard to believe one of them would be involved in something like this."

Akitsuna looked through the folder again. "It appears that Mendou-san attends an all-girls school with good grades in chemistry. With her family's resources it was easy for her to get everything she needed for the substance used."

"That answers that question. But still, why would she do this for so long?"

This time Akitsuna didn't look down. "Judging from past actions and previous personal references, she's a classic example of the spoiled rich girl. She seems to delight in toying with people and has even been seen carrying explosives around. And it appears she's never been told 'no' or disciplined for misbehaving. Maybe not even so much as a slap on the wrist. So naturally she grew up believing everyone is here simply to entertain and cater to her."

At this time someone else came up to the two men. It was a woman with short black hair and green eyes, wearing dark clothes.

"Hello Detective Kurama-san." Kawakotsu greeted her.

She bowed her head back before speaking. "We've analyzed the chemical she was carrying on her person. It's a rather unusual compound, but the main components appear to be hallucinogenics, pain-relievers, and ecstasy, with a slight hint of steroids."

"So what does it do?" Akitsuna asked.

Kurama appeared to struggle to find the best way to answer. "According to our drug experts, in theory this compound when ingested causes unrealistic, almost impossibly absurd, delusions about reality. The victim begins to forget what's real and unreal, and is likely to believe fantasy is reality. And other users become open to suggestion, so they actually could be convinced effortlessly that what the first victim believes is real for them too. And as long as they keep taking it in regularly, they keep believing these illusions, completely numb to everything around them. It's habit-forming behavior too so people tend to repeat their actions in various situations."

"The chemists theorize that this drug may have one of three effects on a person's mind." Kurama continued. "One, it might convince someone that they are someone else completely with some sort of faulty fake memory they never question. For example, a cosplayer would become convinced they are the character they dress as. Two, it might convince someone they are what others claim them to be. For example, a 'dumb blonde' would be convinced they really have no brain and are supposed to be their stereotype. And finally, it might not effect a person's mind or personality at all, just how they see events around them. Basically such a person wouldn't change, but would see everything else the way others do like it was reality."

Kawakotsu looked uneased and bothered. "So this girl has a potential mind-altering drug that she was planning to put into the town's water supply, thus affecting everyone in town? Are you sure about it's effects?"

Kurama nodded. "Definitely. She's been doing this for a while, if you look at how long the people in the district have been acting oddly. I went there a while ago to investigate, and ended up falling victim myself. Somehow, I had become convinced I was some kind of alien similar to karasutengu's and was in a Sleeping Beauty-like situation. I left, thinking I had returned to my 'home planet,' but actually went a few districts away from the drugged water so the effect wore off. Since then I've been trying to figure out just what the hell is going on in that town."

Akitsuna looked at Ryouko then back to Kurama. "How long did it take to wear off for you?"

Kurama looked upwards, a sign that she was trying to recall a memory. "At about the eighth day away from the town, I still believed I was an alien, but I at least saw and felt the real world around me. The next day it became much easier for me to remember who I really was, and by the end of that day, I felt cured of the madness. So eight to nine days is a good estimate."

Kawakotsu nodded. "Okay. First send out a notice to the whole district, and the surrounding ones in case they're contaminated too, to not drink or use any tap water of any kind. If asked, say there's possible infection risk or mercury poisoning, or something like that. Then double check all the water in the treatment plant to ensure there's no build-up of this substance or residue left before giving the okay to the populace to use it again. Then we just wait a little over a week and hope everything returns to normal there."

Akitsuna and Kurama nodded. "What about the girl?"

"Keep her in custody for now. But don't inform her kin until the effects of the chemical wear off. If we notify them now they most likely won't see reason."

With that the police put their plan into action. The potentially contaminated water supply was closed off from the public the next day, for health reasons the people were told, and checked to ensure it was drug-free. For the next week, the residents drank water free from mind-altering drugs. And on the eighth day after they cut off the supply, which was a Monday, the police were anxious to see the results.

On said Monday, one 18 year-old boy named Moroboshi Ataru woke up at the same time his 'roommate' Lum did. Her younger cousin Ten still slept peacefully, curled up and looking very innocent. "Uhhh... good morning, Lum." He greeted her, still feeling groggy from sleep and rubbing his eyes.

Lum did and felt the same, but smiled. "Good morning Darling. Sleep well?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Did you?"

Lum stretched before answering, and Ataru couldn't resist admiring her figure as she did so. "I guess. But I'd sleep better if I knew I'd wake up next to you."

More awake now, Ataru glanced at the closet before looking back at Lum. "Say, Lum, how can you tolerate sleeping in a closet? Doesn't it get awful cramped in there?"

Lum sat down and yawned. "Yeah, it does. But it's worth it to see you every morning."

"You deserve better. Why don't you move your futon out here tonight?" Ataru suggested, surprising them both. 'Whoa, where'd that come from? I never thought like that before. But, it's not that bad an idea. I mean, as long as we don't share the futon... yet, it shouldn't be a problem.'

Lum blinked in surprise. "Are you... sure, Darling?" While she sounded happy, there was a hint of hesitation in her voice for some reason.

"If we... keep some space between our beds it shouldn't be too bad." Ataru told her bashfully, scratching the back of his head. "I... kinda feel like a jerk for making you sleep there in the first place. As long as you don't... rush things, it should be OK."

Lum grinned brightly. "Thank you, Darling." Her smile quickly vanished when Ataru suddenly looked at her with sheer shock written all over his face. "Darling, what's wrong?"

"L... Lum, I... just noticed something." Ataru struggled to say. "Your... your horns are gone! And your hair is _black_!"

Lum gasped and felt her scalp. She couldn't feel any horns on her head, and she pulled some hair into her sight and confirmed it was indeed black. "Wha... what the hell happened to me?"

"I don't know, but you almost look... human."

Lum got scared. She didn't bother to see if she could fly or generate electricity, since without her horns she couldn't do those things anyway. 'Wait. Why does the idea that horns are necessary for those things to be possible sound so weird now? It's a natural fact of oni biology.' She suddenly wanted to cry, so she threw herself at Ataru and did just that. And surprisingly he wrapped his arms around her without a second thought to comfort her.

"Lum, maybe you should stay home from school today." Ataru suggested.

"Don't we have an important test today that we shouldn't miss?"

"Are you up to it?"

"As long as Ran-chan doesn't try anything funny." Lum answered.

With that, the two got dressed in their school uniforms, separately of course, and got ready to go to school. After saying goodbye to Ataru's parents, both walked along the route they usually took, and Lum felt awkward about not being able to fly. As she thought about it, a really scary thought entered her mind.

'I... I can't remember how to fly anymore. How could I have forgotten that? I mean, I just jump into the air and... and... then what? What do I do to keep in the air or move around? Without wings? Why, for the life of me, can't I remember?'

Ataru saw her look at the ground in confusion as she walked alongside him. Unsure how to comfort her, he just kept looking ahead, and saw a rather attractive girl walking by. He was tempted to go ask her out, and his feet started to move in that direction, but almost impulsively, he stopped and kept close to Lum.

'Why'd I do that? Why didn't I go and ask for her name, number, and address? Then again, that would kinda make me look like some kind of sick stalker. What the hell made me think any girl would go for such an approach anyway?'

One thing that really surprised Ataru was when a few moments later, he saw a group of girls on a morning jog in flattering outfits, and thought nothing of it. Sure, there were some perverted thoughts, but nothing like the kind anyone would expect from the infamous lecher. Normally, scenes from an X-rated film or M-rated fanfic would appear in his mind at times like this, but all that came to him now were ones more PG-14. It was as if his overactive libido had nearly died out.

When they got to school, most students immediately noticed Lum's new unintentional look. Embarrassed, she kept her head low and held Ataru's hand for comfort, who surprisingly didn't object. They got to their classroom without being bothered, but once their classmates saw Lum, she was the complete center of attention. Before everyone could finish their questioning, Lum raised up both hands to silence the group of students.

"I don't know how it happened. I woke up like this and I'm even more surprised and disturbed by this then you are. Let's just not make a big deal about it, okay?"

With that, the subject was dropped and the teacher came in. Classes went on as normal and they had their big test today that would count towards their graduating grades. Lunch came and Lum and Ataru took a seat under a large cherry tree to eat. Lum was glad that Ataru wasn't trying to keep his distance from her like he usually did. She didn't even have to ask him.

For the rest of the day they noticed several other things that were greatly different than normal. Lum found her bra no longer held several small alien devices and she could no longer contact her UFO. Mendou's sword was confiscated by a teacher saying it was illegal to bring dangerous weapons onto school grounds, making everyone wonder why this never was a problem before. When Shinobu tried to do some heavy lifting, her great strength seemed to disappear like Lum's oniness had. Ryuunosuke was surprised when her father referred to her as a girl, but figured it might have been a slip of the tongue. Kotatsuneko was in the principal's office as usual, but was normal cat size. Sakura actually got full while eating her lunch. Cherry showed up, but he seemed to be exactly the same as always, much to everyone's displeasure. By the end of the day, everyone was looking for signs of the approaching apocalypse, except Onsen Mark who took solace in a bottle of sake. At least not everything had changed.

When Ataru and Lum got home, his parents greeted them and told them both they were worried about Ten. He apparently lost his own horn and his hair had turned black too. But what was oddest was that he started acting and talking like a 2-3 year-old boy instead of the Jariten they all knew. So far nothing else seemed to change around or in the Moroboshi house.

Night came and Ataru and Lum were getting ready for bed. When Ataru got his futon unrolled, Lum sat next to him. "Umm... Darling? I'm still really unsettled by everything today. Could I... just this once, bring my futon out here? It might help me relax to know you'll be the last thing I see tonight and the first thing tomorrow."

Ataru nodded. "Sure. Don't you remember I suggested that earlier today?" Lum blinked, then scoffed at herself for forgetting. With that settled, the two teens got ready for bed, with Lum keeping her cousin Ten close by so he wouldn't get finicky. Both wondered just what tomorrow would bring, and if it would be better than today.


	2. The Aftermath

On Tuesday morning Ten's crying and fussing woke up both Ataru and Lum. Apparently he was hungry. Lum got him something from the fridge and noticed both she and the young boy still had black hair with no horns. As she moved around she had a spaced-out look on her face, as if she was unfocused, until she and the young boy settled down in the dining room. Ataru noticed and got uncomfortable about it, but when he asked her what was wrong she didn't respond until the second time he asked.

"What? Oh, sorry Darling, but... I... had a very odd dream last night and... I'm kinda... scared."

"Why? What was it about?"

Lum shivered and closed her eyes, as if trying to fight off a bad mental image. "I... I saw... myself, I think. But I... wasn't me. I was... human." She replied before looking back at the boy next to her. "I saw myself, but... it was like I was human all my life. Human school, human friends, even Ran-chan, and even my parents were humans too. I only saw myself as an oni towards the end of my dream, but it... didn't feel... well, _real_. But the rest of the dream did, almost like memories."

Ataru didn't understand. "Are you saying it felt like you were never an alien? Why does that scare you?"

"Because, it feels like everything I thought I knew about me is a lie, some kind of delusion." Lum responded, trying not to sound irrational or hysterical. "What am I? Am I a human that was tricked into believing I'm an alien for a year? Or am I an alien that's been transformed into a human and someone's messing with my head?"

"Well, considering all we've been through in the past year, is it really hard to believe the last option?" Ataru asked, hoping to comfort her.

It didn't seem to work. "But Darling, why do those dreams feel so much like forgotten memories? Why can't I remember how to fly or generate electricity? And as for all we've been through, why does all that stuff feel so... ludicrous and impossible? Time travel, demon possessions, ghosts, clones, you constantly getting hurt in ways that should cripple a person but back to normal in no time." She paused to take a deep breath. "It feels like our lives are the result of someone combining science fiction and fantasy. Does it really feel... real to you anymore?"

Ataru shook his head. "Not really. I didn't have any weird dreams last night like you, but when I think about all the things last year, it feels... like you said, impossible. Like we've been living in some kind of slapstick comedy anime."

Lum relaxed and looked at Ten, who was staying quiet but watching them talk with interest as he finished his breakfast. "So what now? Either that's all been a lie and we're now 'waking up', or we're now being fooled into thinking we've been delusional. Neither feels good, and I wonder 'Why?' in the first place for either one."

Ataru's parents, still in their pajamas, entered with two cups of coffee and noticed the two teens. "Boy, you two look like you've each lost your best friend." Mr. Moroboshi commented.

Lum just sat there. "I feel like I don't know who I am anymore, Moroboshi-san."

"Well, here's some good news." Mrs. Moroboshi added. "We heard on our alarm clock radio that schools been cancelled for the rest of the week. Apparently the faculty have been bothered by something."

"Guess we're not the only ones noticing changes and wondering what's going on." Ataru replied, relieved he got a holiday.

The four of them then got around to eating their own breakfasts and trying to understand the situation. Nobody could come up with a reasonable solution, except that maybe, like Lum had said, that they all had been tricked over the past year. They made several calls in the afternoon to friends, who were going through their own shocks, but got no definitive answers. Mendou, when they called him, did suggest they got together at one of their hangouts the next day to discuss it in person. He couldn't do it today since he was still trying to locate his sister.

When night came, Ataru and Lum were out on his balcony looking at the stars together. "Darling, remember those dreams I told you about this morning? The ones that felt like memories?" At his nod, she continued. "Well, now, they... feel much more real. And my memories about being an alien... are so thin they feel more like something I imagined. Like they were never real."

"So you think you might actually be a human?" Ataru asked.

She weakly nodded. "Yeah. And... I might have been one the whole time." She paused for a moment. "What the hell have I been doing the past year? Was I running but believing I was flying? Did I really go out in public in a bikini all the time? How much of the time we've been together was real?"

"All of it." Ataru told her, gaining her full but confused attention. "Maybe you're right and we've been tricked and will never know what caused it or what we really did then, but we were together all that time. Maybe the events weren't real, but us being together definitely was."

Lum shed a happy tear. "One thing I know for sure, my feelings for you Darling, are no delusion. I really love you." She then gave him a quick peck on his cheek, making him blush but no further reaction. "You don't have to say it back. I'm not sure if the me you know is the real me or not."

"The oni you, or the cute, jealous, forgiving, assertive you?" He asked with a grin. "Well, I'm not sure if I love you, but I do know I don't want you out of my life. Besides, can you love an unfaithful, flirtacious pervert?"

Lum put her arm around his shoulder. "How do we know that's the real you? If I've been tricked into thinking I'm an alien, maybe you've been tricked too."

Ataru figured she had a point. All day long he hadn't had a perverted thought. Could he have been fooled too, just in a different way? "But if that's not me, then how can you say you love me if I'm different than what you know?"

"I've seen you at your best and at your worst. Besides, I know my own heart at the least." She told him.

Ataru felt flattered and undeserving. "Lum, I still don't feel ready for marriage, but if that's really how you feel in spite of all this, how would you like it if we tried being a real couple? Y'know, dating and stuff like that?" It was weird how the him from last week would never think of suggesting this, but now he felt like this was a good idea.

Lum's heart leaped and she hugged the boy tightly. "Yes Darling, I'd love that. Don't worry about marriage for now. I'm not feeling really ready for that anymore anyway. I'd like us to get the know the other, the real other, better now."

A little later, both went to sleep in Ataru's room, and had more dreams that felt more like resurfacing memories. Lum had more of these than Ataru did. On Wednesday morning, both felt more level-headed. And less uncertain.

"Darling, I... I think I can remember everything now." Lum told him when both were awake. "I really am a human, and I've lived in this town since I was eight. My real name is Redetto Ramuko, Ten is actually my little brother, not my cousin, and my parents have a house I used to live at until all of this happened. I remember dressing up as an alien, as you know me best, for some kind of themed party, but after that, something must have convinced me I actually was an alien."

"Glad to see you feel better." Ataru told her. "My memories are pretty much the same as they've always been, but I remember I never acted like some crazy pervert before last year. Sure, I liked looking at erotic pictures like all teenage boys do, but I wasn't some sort of obsessive tail-chaser. Looking back, I'm disgusted with myself. Are you really willing to give me a chance in spite of all that?"

Lum, or actually Ramuko, nodded. "That wasn't really you. You were just convinced that that's who you were supposed to be. You're a victim like me, and if you can give me a chance despite my aggressive behavior, I can certainly give you one too."

At that moment, Mrs. Moroboshi entered the room. "Son, I'm so sorry." She said in tears, looking like she had lost a loved one. "I've been a horrible mother to you for the past year, constantly wishing you had never been born. Even saying it to your face. What kind of woman am I?"

"It's okay Okaa-san. I don't think you never really meant it. Besides, I wasn't exactly the best person either, so why don't we forget it?" Ataru told her.

Mrs. Moroboshi's tears seemed to stop, but her face still looked sad. "Even so, I have to make it up to you. I can't just pretend I was never rude, especially to my own child." She pulled out a large amount of yen. "Here. You two go spoil yourselves for the day. I'll watch over Ten."

Ataru and Ramuko/Lum were surprised. "We can't take that."

"Yes you can." Mrs. Moroboshi countered. "Money's not as tight as we thought. We only have one mortgage and my husband is better paid than you might remember. We can spare this much for you two to enjoy yourselves. Now go have fun." She told them in a 'I'm not taking no for an answer' tone of voice.

No real reason to argue, Ataru and Ramuko/Lum got dressed and went outside, with lots of yen in their pockets. Ataru put on brown pants with a long-sleeved orange shirt while Ramuko/Lum wore a green skirt and a yellow T-shirt. Their first stop was a gyuudon hut Ataru liked, then they rented rollerskates at Nerima park and skated around. Apparently the town was actually called Nerima instead of Tomobiki, although their school was called that still. Ramuko/Lum moved on skates as if she still could fly. Both noticed they got a lot of weird looks from other people most of the morning.

"Guess everyone else realizes how absurd things were over the past year." Ramuko/Lum stated.

"Well, we did kind of make a spectacle out of ourselves most of the time." Ataru replied.

"I bet most of the men are upset I'm not flashing my figure around anymore." Ramuko/Lum added with a small hint of a blush afterwards.

"I wonder what caused all this to happen. A whole town can't go crazy all at once without reason."

Ramuko/Lum nodded, then saw Ran come towards them. This time the redhead(now it looked dyed) wasn't wearing something extremely frilly or overly girly, just casual clothes like Lum herself. "Hi Lu... I mean, Ramuko-chan. Everything okay?" Even her voice was different, neither overly cute or fierce.

Ramuko/Lum nodded. "Yeah. Just trying to figure out what happened."

"Same here. Maybe we'll never know." Ran responded with a shrug. "By the way, I got a call from your classmate Mendou Shutaro-kun this morning. He said he got ahold of several of us from school and wanted me to go to Nerima park soon. Are you guys going too?"

The young couple looked at each other before looking back at her. "We must have missed the call. But sure. It should be interesting." With that, the three went over to the other side of the park and found several recognizable people already gathered there.

Mendou stood against a tree in a blue shirt and black jeans without his sword. Shinobu sat on a bench in a green blouse with orange trim and a blue skirt. Next to her was Ryuunosuke actually wearing girl clothes, a white blouse with a lavendar vertical stripe and a deep blue dress. The four Stormtroopers sat on the grass together wearing normal outfits for warm weather in various colors. Benten and Oyuki were there too, sitting on another bench with some space between them, but neither were dressed as aliens. Benten wore a brown tank top with cut-offs and Oyuki wore a white shirt with a black skirt that had some white stripes at the bottom. Rei was there too, dressed as a tough guy leaning against a tree and munching on some dango.

Rei was the first to notice the three approach and held up a hand to wave. "Yo." He said plainly in greeting, making Ataru and Ramuko/Lum twitch, thinking he wasn't really any different now. Ran chuckled and went up to him and hugged. Apparently she wasn't too different either.

Mendou noticed them too and so did everyone else. "Ah, glad you two could make it. I was afraid you wouldn't. But since this is basically everybody, perhaps some light could be shed on all this commotion."

Megane, proving he was still a natural speaker, was the first to open the floor. "It's obvious we've all been the victims of some sick kind of joke. I'm not sure what exactly has been going on over the past year, but there's one thing I've got to say. My real name is Satoshi, not Megane. I don't know why anybody, even me, thought otherwise. Seriously, who'd name their child Megane?" The rest of the stormtroopers then added their real names too. Perm was actually Kosuke, Chibi was actually Akira, and Kakugari was actually Hiroyuki. "Does anybody else have anything they'd like to straighten out too?" Satoshi/Megane asked when they finished.

Shinobu was the first to say anything and she sounded sad or ashamed when she did. "Yeah. I'm not actually ridiculously strong. I'm just average. And my 'boyfriend' Inabi apparently doesn't exist. Just some figment of my imagination."

Next came Ryuunosuke. "Well, I wish I could say my name was something else but it's not. My life story is pretty much what you know. Only thing different now is that Oyaji finally realizes I'm a woman and is letting me be one. 'Bout damn time I say."

Ran took her turn. "I'm not an alien, I can't steal youth with a kiss, and I have no split personality. Other than that, nothing else."

Benten tapped her foot and spoke. "I'm no alien either. I do like bikes and competing, but I'm actually from Kyoutou and I stopped here for a competition, then... whatever happened, happened. I never knew any of you before this."

Oyuki cleared her hroat. "My situation is similar. I never knew anybody here before this chaos either, not even you Lum-san." She told the young girl, unaware of her real name. "I came here from Hokaidou to help a relative then... all this happened. I really should get home now."

"Me too. Can't wait to get somewhere normal." Benten added.

"Well, I hope you two can put all this behind you someday." Ramuko/Lum told them. "My real name is Ramuko and I'm not an alien either. I think the only thing about me anyone knows that _is_ real is my feelings for Ataru here." She intertwined her arm with his as she finished.

Ataru noticed the looks on the stormtroopers and figured their infatuation wasn't fake either. "Well, I'm still the same except I'm not actually some kind of oversexed deviant."

"Thank kami." Ryuunosuke could be heard muttering.

Rei then cleared his throat and said more than anyone had ever heard before. "Well, I'm still a man of few words, I like to eat, and I want to be a pilot. Except for the fact I'm not an alien, I'm still the same."

Mendou nodded. "Same for me. Only real difference is that my family isn't as rich as I claimed it was. I won't tell you the real amount since I myself am not sure. I think my little sister Ryouko-imouto was more affected by all this then myself since she's apparently being contained in some kind of quarantine. Or so my parents told me after talking with police this morning."

Ramuko/Lum sighed. "So I guess Ran-chan was right. We may never know what messed up our heads. Guess all we can do is get our lives back on track."

Benten stood up and dusted off her clothes. "Well, I don't know about you, but I've had enough of this sci-fi convention. I'm going back to Kyoutou. Sorry if I'm being rude, but I can't honestly say I'll miss this place." Everybody just waved her goodbye and wished her well as she disappeared from their lives, shortly followed by Oyuki.

Everyone soon parted after that. Ran and Rei went back to her apartment, not a spaceship, to get themselves in order. Ryuunosuke went back to the Hamachaya and Mendou went back to his estate. Shinobu tagged along with him for a time, hoping to possibly restart their relationship since his arranged engagement to Asuka apparently wasn't real. The stormtroopers tried to ask Ramuko/Lum out, but she declined and went back on her day out with Ataru.

When they got back to the Moroboshi house, they saw Ramuko/Lum's parents waiting for them, with Ten in tow. Her father, Mr. Redetto, wore a common business suit instead of a tiger-striped jumpsuit while Mrs. Redetto wore an orange dress very similar to the tiger-striped one everyone remembered her wearing.

Mrs. Redetto surprised everyone when she greeted her daughter. "Hello dear, did you have fun?" She apparently now could speak Japanese.

Ramuko/Lum nodded. "Yeah, Darling was a perfect gentleman, for once." She ended with a slight teasing tone.

Her father approached. "Well Ramuko, what do you say you come back home with us? Now that we've... well, gotten back to normal, there's no reason not to."

Ramuko/Lum looked to her parents, to Ataru, then to her parents again. "Maybe I should. It'll help me feel normal again. I'll just go get my stuff." With that, she went up to Ataru's room to get her things, while Ataru talked to her parents hoping to keep a good image to them. Luckily that wasn't too hard since they've always liked him.

Ramuko/Lum came down with a suitcase and kissed Ataru's cheek. "Bye Darling. See you in school or maybe sooner."

Ataru got an idea and a wicked grin. "Say, Lum," he said, intentionally using what they decided would be her nickname between them, before pulling out a notepad and a pen. "What's your address and phone number?"

She laughed softly at the joke. "Don't ever change Darling."

That evening, back at a police department building, detectives Kurama and Kawakotsu had a discussion over the events in Nerima. "How does everything check up there?" Kawakotsu asked.

Kurama smirked. "Just as expected. The effects of the drug have worn off and everyone in that town remembers how things are supposed to be. There may be some confusion as people try to figure out why all this happened and they try to get their lives back on track, but soon it'll be just a bad memory for most."

"That's good."

Kurama nodded. "So what's going to be done with the Mendou girl?"

"We've already explained the situation to her parents this morning. They didn't seem to like it, but this finally convinced them that their daughter needed to suffer the consequences of her actions. They asked that info regarding her not be released to save face, but they won't stop us from applying justice to her."

"Wonder what she should get for turning a whole town into a circus. Think any judge will go easy on her?"

Kawakotsu started counting off his fingers. "Possession of drugs, breaking and entering, endangering the public health, possession of explosives. That and we have good authority that her family won't try to buy her innocence. I'd say this girl's going away for a long time."

Kurama shrugged unsympathetically. "Can't say I feel bad for her."

With that said and done, the two detectives turned to other matters, and like most people in Nerima, went on with their lives.


End file.
